THE Olympics are a punter’s wet dream.
The sheer volume of sports’ available to have a bet on is dizzying and the smart partner can turn a pretty penny, often by betting stereotypes.
Usually China or Russia will win the gymnastics events. You can safely bet on a Jamaican taking out the track sprints. The U.S. will win the basketball. A Euro team will win the soccer.
The 2016 Rio Olympics are just around the corner. Usually in the lead up to the games comes an endless string of weird and wonderful tales and this year is no different.
Here are a few of the stranger stories to emerge ahead of the Olympics so far….
Tomic strikes again
Bernard Tomic has continued his amazing run of sickies and dodgy decisions by announcing that he would pass up the opportunity and glory to represent Australia at the 2016 Rio Olympics. Instead he will be attending an ATP event in Los Cabos, Mexico, to defend a title he won last year.
Now, on face value this may seem pathetic, weird, lame, or even insulting to the wider Australian public. But hold on – it is actually a master stroke by the lanky and obviously sickly Tomic.
With every major tennis star worth their salt on board to compete in the Olympics, it clears the decks of any competition Tomic may have faced at the ATP Tour in Mexico. God knows that if any actual tennis players were to compete in Los Cabos, then Tomic’s chances of taking out back-to-back titles would dwindle dramatically.
At this rate the only thing that could hamper Tomic’s chances of winning ATP Los Cabos again is himself. It would require him to play at least several complete matches, without retiring sick, injured, tired or bored. Given that his chances of winning are still probably less than 50/50.
At least Tomic could come up with a better excuse for pulling out like the golfers: blame the Zika virus.
Before announcing this decision, SportsBet.com.au had Tomic as $101 to take out the men’s singles gold medal at Rio.
Zika virus keeps golfers out of Olympics
Unlike Bernard Tomic, who is basically snubbing the Olympics for a Mexican holiday of tequila and taco’s, the golfers of the world have put their heads together to come up with a believable communal medical certificate to get out of the Olympics.
Adam Scott, Vijay Singh, Louis Oosthuizen and Charl Schwartzel have all pulled out of the Olympics siting fears of the dreaded Zika virus for their withdrawal.
As far as an excuse for getting out of the Olympics goes, the Zika virus is a pretty good one, especially for the golfers of the world. Given the fact Zika is a mosquito born disease, it’s logical the golfers might be more at risk by walking around in the scrub of Brazil than the judo competitors.
Scott in particular is the least surprising withdrawal given he has been slagging the concept of golf in the Olympics ever since it was announced golf was back on the Olympic ledger for the first time since the 1904. Scott initially pulled out citing family reasons but has since become vocal of fears for the Zika virus and that any buffoon who is idiotic enough to go within 200km of Brazil during the Olympics deserves to be hosed down with bleach by half a dozen men in Hazmat suits.
CrownBet.com.au has the top three favorite countries to take out the Olympic gold in golf as the United States ($3.25), Ireland ($4.50) and Australia at $5.50.
The greatest Aussie Olympic story yet
In what can only be described as the greatest testament to Australian sports, ever, it has been revealed that despite the 2016 Rio Olympics providing more than 450,000 condoms to competitors in the athletes’ Olympic village, Australian organisers were unimpressed with the meager amount of prophylactics on offer and have decided to ship over some more of their own.
In fact, Aussie organisers are sending over another 864 condoms and are in talks with a condom manufacturer to send more.
In years gone by it has been revealed that the athletes’ village is a debaucherous free-for-all that would make Caligula blush. The advent of dating apps Grindr and Tinder have turned the Olympic village into a living orgy and some Olympic organizers are concerned 450,000 condoms won’t be enough.
Of course some people are trying to imply that fears of the Zika virus spreading are behind the massive ‘dommy stock pile, but no one believes that at all.
If only there were an Olympic medal for which country could squire the most athletes: surely Australia would be a shoe in!
