IT has been an ugly week for sports. The Russians were dropped from the Olympics and then sort of readmitted as the world learnt the truly comical depths of their drug test rorting.
But that isn’t it. 2016 has been a bad year, with a new drug cheat being revealed almost every week.
Drugs in sport
Drugs in sport is one hot topic at the moment.
There seems to be more drugs in sport than there are in Columbia! Every week we are hit with a new drama unfolding from a different sport.
The Essendon Bombers of the AFL have been crippled this year after their entire roster was suspended from sport for an entire year.
The Cronulla Sharks of the NRL had a handful of players, including noted knucklehead Paul Gallen, suspended at the end of last year for dabbling in dope.
Have you tuned into the women’s tennis lately? Noticed it is a lot quieter? That’s because Maria Sharapova and her He-Man grunts and moans are no longer there. Sharapova was banned earlier this year for being on a banned substance. She said she was using it as a prophylactic against developing diabetes.
Jon “Bones” Jones, Brock Lesnar and Chad Mendes are the most recent UFC fighters to be pinched juicing heavier than Golden Circle. Jones and Lesnar when on drugs to stop them from growing a decent set of boobs. That’s right. If Lesnar and Jones weren’t on the drugs, they could have developed a pair of Pamela Anderson regulars. Sure their tits would have been the result of rampant steroid use, but who’s to judge where a good set of jugs come from?
Now the Russians have gone from lovable rogues to down right sneaky. Their countries track and field expulsion from the Olympic games is the stuff of a cheesy Hollywood Cold War comedy. Holes in walls, FSB agents dressed as janitor’s disposing of tainted urine. Honestly, you couldn’t make this stuff up if you tried.
To really compound things, the alleged mastermind behind Cronulla and Essendon’s peptide program, Stephen Dank, was targeted in an early morning shooting. There are even hushed suggestions that the assault on Dank’s house is linked to secret injections given to a star NRL player.
Has the world gone topsy turvy? Are clean athletes rarer than chook’s teeth these days?
Now, after initial rumblings that the Russians were banned from Rio2016, it would appear that only the Russian track and field team are barred
Despite being hampered by not having a track and field team in attendance, WilliamHill.com.au has Russia at $51 to win the most gold medals. They are behind the USA on $1.18 and China at $4.50. Australia is $101.
Rio 2016
The Rio 2016 Olympics has finally hit farce levels. Between Zika virus obliterating any form of decent competition in the men’s golf and the Russian track and field team being banned for a fantastic state sponsored doping regime, the Olympics have nose dived into oblivion.
When I was a kid the Olympics were a special occasion. It was a good reason to chuck a sickie and stay home to watch Cathy Freeman fly down the track dressed in a spandex onesie. It was a reason to watch Ian Thorpe shoot down the pool… dressed in a spandex onesie.
I imagine there won’t even be any onesies at this Olympics.
If there are any onesies, they will probably be pioneered by the Russians. But they won’t be made of spandex. They will probably be made of horse steroids, peptides and anti-breast-growing drugs.
